Therapy Doesn’t Work for Me. What Now? 

If you’ve been to therapy before, maybe even a few times, and didn’t feel any better, it’s understandable you’d feel discouraged. You might wonder if there are some people that therapy just doesn’t work for, or if you’re doomed to feel like forever. But there are so many steps you can still take. There is hope! 

Research overwhelmingly shows that therapy is helpful. Around 75% of people who go to therapy see some benefit after 6 months.  

If you haven’t found it helpful, that doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you or that you’re too “messed up.” There are many valid reasons why therapy may not have helped you so far. You may need a different therapist or treatment method.  

You may also need more support than a weekly appointment can provide. If traditional outpatient therapy hasn’t been enough, an intensive outpatient program (IOP) could be a more helpful option. 

Why isn’t therapy working for me? 

First of all, your feelings are valid. Yes, research has found that outpatient talk therapy really helps a lot of people with lots of different mental health concerns. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that every single person is going to benefit from every therapy experience they have. If you’re feeling like therapy hasn’t helped you as much as you’d hoped, it’s not just “in your head.” 

At the same time, it also doesn’t mean that you’re a “lost cause,” or that therapy will never be helpful. There are many different reasons why therapy may not have worked for you so far. 

Wrong therapist fit 

For therapy to work, you need a trusting relationship with your therapist. In research, this is called the therapeutic alliance. And studies have found that this relationship significantly impacts how effective therapy is. 

So if you feel therapy hasn’t been working, it’s worth considering the relationship you have with your therapist. Do you feel emotionally safe, like you can be your true self with your therapist? Do you feel seen and heard by them? Do you trust them to help you through painful emotions without judging you? 

There are many reasons why you might not feel that trust with your therapist. It may be too new of a relationship. Your therapist could be behaving in inappropriate ways that make you feel judged or ignored. Sometimes, it’s just not the right personality fit, and that’s okay. 

Unclear goals 

To really know whether therapy is “working,” you need to have a clear picture of how you’re measuring progress. What, exactly, would it look like for therapy to be “working”?  

The benefits of therapy don’t usually appear all at once, like one big revelation. You likely won’t experience a sudden, overwhelming sense of well-being. Progress isn’t linear, and can arrive in tiny cumulative steps. 

It’s possible that there have been steps of progress, but without having clear and specific goals, they can be hard to recognize. 

Not the right treatment method  

Even if you have a great relationship with your therapist, the methods and interventions they use might not be the best fit for your needs. “Therapy” is an umbrella term that includes many different treatment methods. Each one is based on different ideas about why mental health concerns develop and what can help. 

For example, for depression, some of the best evidence-based techniques include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).  

And it’s not just one-size-fits-all based on the diagnosis you have. Two people with the exact same diagnosis could benefit from different methods. For example, one person might prefer a more methodical or structured approach to trauma therapy, while another might benefit more from free-flowing creative arts or somatic therapy.  

Fear of vulnerability/honesty 

It’s also possible that you’re not yet ready to go through the process of therapy. Again, building a therapeutic relationship is essential to a successful therapy experience. Your therapist is responsible for creating a space where honesty feels safe. But building trust is a collaborative process, and also requires you to be as open as you’re able to be. 

If you’ve had to protect yourself from being hurt, judged, or misunderstood, vulnerability may feel dangerous. It can also take time before you’re ready to talk about the experiences that affect you most deeply. That’s completely valid, and it’s okay to take your time. But if you’re not really showing your most genuine self in therapy, that could be a reason why it hasn’t felt helpful. 

External circumstances 

Therapy isn’t the answer to every difficult life situation. It can help you cope with painful circumstances, understand how they’re affecting you, and make decisions about what to do next. But therapy can’t eliminate structural problems like racism or poverty. 

What a good therapist can do is validate the reality of what you’re facing and stand by your side as you get through it. Therapy may not make the frustration and grief go away, but they can help you build a meaningful life despite it. 

Needing more support 

Lastly, one major reason why therapy may not have worked for you is that you need more support than outpatient therapy can provide. Traditionally, people go to therapy once a week for around 50 minutes per session. But many people need more support than that, and that’s valid. 

If you feel like your symptoms are getting worse between sessions, or that you spend every session catching your therapist up on recent crises and trying to stabilize, then it may be worthwhile to think about whether you’d benefit from a higher level of care. 

What is the next step if therapy doesn’t work? 

If you’ve gone to therapy before and felt it didn’t work, there’s still hope. It doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to feel this way forever. It may not even mean that talk therapy can’t still help you. You have options, and healing is possible. 

Talk to your therapist 

If you generally feel safe with your therapist, consider telling them that you don’t feel like therapy is helping. This may feel uncomfortable and awkward, but a supportive therapist should be willing to hear your concerns without becoming defensive. 

You might tell them that you feel stuck, or that you need something different from your sessions. Your therapist may be able to adjust their approach or even refer you to another therapist who’s a better fit. 

It may also be too early to know how helpful the relationship will be. If you’ve only attended a few sessions and there aren’t any serious red flags, you might decide to give the relationship more time while still sharing your concerns. 

Clarify your goals 

Remember, it’s hard to know if therapy is helping or not if you don’t know what your goals are. To measure progress, goals need to be as clear and specific as possible. “Feel better” isn’t an ideal therapy goal, because it’s unclear how to know when you’ve achieved it. What does “better” look like? How much “better” would you need to feel to be able to say therapy has been helpful? 

Instead, try to set therapy goals that are more specific. Your therapist can help you define them as well. What, exactly, do you hope will change? 

Your goals can focus on the therapeutic process, like practicing a grounding skill when you feel overwhelmed. They can also focus on outcomes, like attending school more consistently or having fewer panic attacks. It’s usually helpful to have both types of goals. 

Try a new therapist 

If your current therapist is just not a good fit, it’s okay to find a new one. We usually recommend giving it at least 3 or 4 sessions before deciding whether you “click” with your therapist. But there’s no hard rule. Especially if your therapist makes you feel judged or unsafe, then you don’t need to keep attending sessions with them. 

Before you look for a new therapist, it may help to reflect on what exactly you’re looking for in a therapist. Would it help to work with someone who shares or deeply understands an important part of your identity? Do you prefer a therapist who uses humor? How much direction do you want your therapist to give you? 

Research treatment methods 

You can also ask your therapist (or potential therapists) about the treatment methods they’re trained in and use. Think about whether these methods are what you’re looking for, and how much research supports each method for what you’re going through. You can research treatment methods on your own, and look for therapists who offer these interventions. 

If you’ve tried to work with a few different therapists and still feel like therapy isn’t helpful, then it might be helpful to look into other types of therapy (other than talk therapy). Methods like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and somatic therapy involve much more than just talking through the whole session. Even if talk therapy isn’t for you, that doesn’t mean that no therapy could ever beh elpful. 

Get a higher level of care 

If you’re having a hard time functioning between appointments, then weekly therapy may just not be enough, no matter how good of a fit your therapist is. You can look into higher levels of care that can give you more support than outpatient therapy.  

The most common options are intensive outpatient programs (IOPs) and residential treatment. In IOPs, you attend treatment for several hours per day with other people who are going through similar things. You can get intensive support while still being allowed to live at home. Residential (or inpatient) treatment, where you live at the treatment facility, is a good option for people who need round-the-clock supervision and care.  

Houston IOP for Teens and Adults 

Therapy can work for you, but it might take some time to find the right fit.  

Jones Wellness Center offers a trauma-informed IOP for teens and adults in Houston. Our program provides more time and support than traditional outpatient therapy while allowing you to continue living at home. 

Some people come to us after feeling overwhelmed or discouraged by previous treatment experiences. Our warm and comfortable environment is designed to help you feel safe enough to explore what’s underneath your symptoms. Therapy groups can help you reconnect with your body and develop tools you can use outside of sessions. 

You aren’t beyond help just because therapy hasn’t worked so far… but you may need a different kind of support. Contact Jones Wellness Center to learn whether our Houston IOP could be the right next step for you.